The little voice inside: how to strengthen your child’s self-esteem

Everyone has a voice inside. It comments on what we do and tells us what we can and can’t do. In children, that voice is still taking shape, and it is built largely from the words they hear from the adults around them.

Self-esteem and self-confidence are not the same

Self-confidence is about what you can do: ride a bike, draw, climb. Self-esteem is about who you are: that you are good enough, even when you can’t do something. A child with healthy self-esteem can handle failing, because the mistake isn’t about who they are.

See the child, not just the performance

“It’s so kind of you to help your little brother” and “I love spending time with you” say something about your child as a person. Sentences like these build self-esteem, because they don’t depend on getting something right.

Let your child try on their own

When we help too quickly, we say without words: “You can’t do it.” Give them time, even when it takes longer. The feeling of having managed something on your own is pure gold.

Speak kindly about yourself

Children are listening when you call yourself “so stupid.” Instead, show how to talk kindly to yourself: “Oops, that went wrong. I’ll try again.”

Give the little voice new words

Let your child practice kind sentences about themselves: “I can do it. I am good enough. It’s okay to make mistakes.” The sentences are easier to find when things get hard if they have been said many times when things were easy.

A story where your child is the hero

When your child sees themselves as the main character in a story about courage and kind words, the message becomes personal. It’s not a character in a book who is brave. It’s your child.

From My Mini Mindset

Want to bring the words into everyday life? Here are materials with your child’s name and a figure that looks like your child:

• The book “The Little Voice Inside”
• Kind words poster