When your child is afraid of the dark

Many children become afraid of the dark at some point. Their imagination grows, and the shadows on the wall can suddenly look like all sorts of things. It’s a natural part of development, and it usually passes again.

Take the fear seriously

“There’s nothing to be afraid of” is true, but it rarely helps. Instead, say: “I understand that it feels scary. I’m here to keep you safe.” Your child needs to feel heard before they can feel safe.

Explore the dark during the day

Build a blanket fort and play with flashlights. Make shadow animals on the wall. When the dark becomes connected with play and coziness, it loses some of its power.

A set bedtime routine

Predictability creates security. The same order every evening: bath, pajamas, teeth, book, song, good night. A routine poster with pictures helps your child know what’s coming next and gives a sense of control.

Light that feels nice

A soft night-light or a small lamp your child can turn on themselves can make a big difference. Leave the door ajar if it helps.

Read stories about courage

Books where a character is scared and finds their courage give your child a language for their own fear. It can be easier to talk about the elf being scared than about being scared yourself. Afterwards you can ask: “What helped the elf?”

Small steps

If your child wants you to stay, you can gradually sit a little farther from the bed, or promise to come back and check on them in five minutes. Keep your promise. That way, your child learns they can trust that you’ll be there.

If the fear takes up a lot of space for a long time or affects your child’s sleep and well-being, talk to your child’s pediatrician.

From My Mini Mindset

Want to bring the words into everyday life? Here are materials with your child’s name and a figure that looks like your child:

• The book about the elf who was scared
• Evening routine poster